Saturday 4 May 2013

How soon is too soon? Relationship Milestones


I recently had a friend who after a month of dating got given a key to her boyfriend's house, coming from me an extremely unlucky in love teenager I think this is too soon. So I decided to do some digging and find out what the people around me thought about relationship 'too milestones'

How soon is too soon to say I love you? 
"I don't think that there is a time limit, when you love someone and you feel that at the moment you need to say it. That is the right time." 
I believe to a certain extent this is true, I mean I personally wouldn't be saying it right off the bat!
"It shouldn't be too soon because to start off with you’re never 100% on feelings At least a month is more acceptable because you've had time to be with them and understand your feelings more" I do agree with this statement more but I mean there have been instances of people meeting and getting married within the a month and they end up living happily for 60 years. I guess what we are all trying to say is that its about as predictable as the weather in England.

How soon is too soon to have sex in a relationship?
"The best relationships start with a friendship, and that needs time to develop before you take it to the next step"
I one hundred percent agree with this, I think that knowing someone well enough to have a sense of security and comfort is essential. I mean you have to be able to tell the person how you are feeling and if you don't have the confidence to tell them, how are you going to be able to enjoy the sex. This also means you have a foundation to your relationship that isn't based on sex, which tends in general to last longer.

How soon is too soon to have a key?
"Shouldn't be too soon, but it depends how long you've known them and if you can trust them."
I agree that trust is the most important thing when handing someone a key, I personally do not think that giving a key soon into a relationship is a good move but as stated below, it isn't an invitation to move in but it is a step towards it and making sure you are in a stable relationship that has a certain future is important before letting them into your personal space whenever they want. "A key doesn't mean moving in, it means they trust you and want you to know that you can be around whenever you want "

How soon is too soon to meet the parents?
"This can be any time  just because you've met the parents doesn't mean you've got to stay with them. You’re in a relationship with them not the parents"
I do disagree with this, I think a good relationship with parents is important and if you are not 100% confident that you are with a someone you love and want to be with for the future if their parents do not like you this can be detrimental for the relationship. I would say make sure that you know you can get over this hurdle before you jump it.

How soon is too soon to move in?
"6 months + but It depends how quickly you want to move the relationship and if it will be a good or bad thing for your relationship"
I would say that being on the higher end of the 6 months plus is a better way to do this, I mean today this really isn't a long time to be with someone but this is a true test in a relationship and can make or break one. I think knowing what you are in for before is probably going to help out significantly. So assuming you know your partners little annoying habits and they know yours, all should be good and well to take the plunge.

How soon is too soon to propose?
This is the big question on everyone's list, when is the right time to propose or in some cases, to accept. I have a strong opinion on the fact that marriage is not a big deal, in fact I see it as a very expensive constitution that most of the time ends in divorce. It takes more commitment to stay with someone without a legally binding contract telling you that you have to.
"I don’t see the point in being engaged or married, people say it shows commitment when really it doesn't  You shouldn't have to be wearing a ring to let other people know you’re taken" This point of showing you are taken does make some sense to me, that a ring is a saying 'keep your hands off' but then the amount of unfaithfulness that a ring does not stop is really quite scary.

So all in all this is an extremely long blog post that I hope people will enjoy, Thank you to those people that ever so nicely gave their opinions to me. I really would like to hear what people think of this and how soon do you think is too soon for these relationship milestones!

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