So it begins...

I recently, to the shock of myself and many people who know me found myself accepted into my first choice university. This obviously was something that I planned to be super stoked about, however it's now only 22 days until I move in and I have found myself already getting homesick... I haven't even left yet.

I am enjoying the obligatory shopping trips, new stationary (which is one of my favourite things...) pots and pans, yes I have bought pots and pans. But as the day draws closer my nerves and fear of leaving everything and everyone I know behind is becoming increasingly daunting.
I have always been very dependent on my mum, and regardless of her lack of comforting ways (she isn't a hugger) she is always there if I decide I need to latch onto her. Independence is scary whatever the reason for it may be, but in some ways I am excited to not only be in a COMPLETELY new place but with new people and studying something I am genuinely interested in.

So these blog posts may be a little scarce, not like they aren't already but im currently spending as much time with the people I wont be seeing before I have to lose Peter Pan syndrome, leave neverland and finally grow up.  

Soul mates?

I never really believed in the concept of a 'soul mate' the idea that someone out there is a perfect match for you. I still feel this way, however I do feel like I have found someone that could constitute the use of the term 'soul mate'. This person however isn't the love of my life, the person I am going to marry or even fall for. The soul mate that I was taught about when I was younger is not the one I found. I met someone who gets me, compliments my personality, debates with me, tells me im wrong and goes along with my stupid ideas because, well its fun being around each other. The label of our relationship is 'best friend' I thought that I had known what a best friend was until my 'best soul friend' walked into my life. When I personally think of a best friend I think of someone who has been around for years and years. However in the last year I have realised that time has no meaning because we can spend hours on the phone, watching movies and just generally having a giggle.

Birthday fun!! 

I see this girl in my life for the tough and exciting years in my future and I look forward to getting older and making more memories for us to reminisce about when we are grey and bitter. She is the one person I can tell everything to without fear of judgement and assurance of a warm shoulder to lean on. My soul mate wasn't what I expected but she sure is what I need.  

Trying to get things done

Procrastination- The action of delaying or postponing something.
This word seems to be the only thing in the dictionary in my brain, and the only one I seem to comprehend.
I am constantly battling the voice inside my head that tells me 'do it later' even this ironic blog post is preventing me from studying for my impending doom exams.
What seems to be hilarious about this situation is the excuses I use to justify this...

'Oh damn there aren't any cupcakes in the house... better bake some.' 
'I need to ensure that I am organised so if the zombie apocalypse happens tonight i'm prepared'
'I really must clean my room in case Rupert Grint decides he loves me and wants to come over' 
'Its okay I am going to be a famous singer anyway' 

All of these things however unlikely they may be.. I really can bake! Give me a reason to avoid the unavoidable. We go through life making excuses not to do things, things that may turn out to provide us with great memories, exciting stories or even just the grades to achieve great things.

I am feeling super thankful today

I looked around and realised how frequently I don't thank those around me, well for staying with me.
Though sometimes I do or say stupid things, the people that are still here seem to take me and my lack of brain-mouth connection in their stride.

I am thankful for my mother, who without fail will tell me a boy isn't good enough to waste my tears on. She will put up with my constant singing (most of the time), she goes along with my ideas without questioning even if they are stupid.

I am thankful for my father who is the most kind hearted, gentle man I know and his support of my endeavors even if he knows that they are likely to fail. I am thankful for our shared TV taste and his patience when I want to watch trashy 'reality' shows.

I am grateful to my brother who taught me how to be a stronger person, he also taught me its okay to be a nerd and that life is so much more than what it seems to be. He is the person I look to when im trying to figure things out.

And finally my sister, I am thankful for every single part of her, I am grateful for her shoulder to cry on, even her horrible seal laugh because these moments when we burst out laughing randomly because nobody else is in on the joke are what life is about. I am thankful because even though I am older she teaches me so much about myself every single day and even when we are screaming at each other I am thankful that she loves me enough to even bother getting mad.

And I am thankful for my friends because without them I wouldn't have anyone to complain about my family to. They force me out of my bedroom and into social situations which better me as a person.

my dad

My dad is 57 today and this is my way of showing him that he is the most kind, gentle, funny and selfless man I think I will ever know. He is the only man I know that loves me for all of my flaws and will continue to forever. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD. 

You taught me how to stand my ground,
and when it was right to leave,

you picked me up when I fell down,

you're the other half of me. 

You taught me how to ride a bike, 

and how to use my feet,

cars, planes and railway trains,

you're the other half of me. 

You held me when I would cry,
danced for all the happy times,

you love me unconditionally,

dad, thanks for being the other half of me. 

How to be sick

Its not often that I find myself truly sick, however I have recently found myself struck by tonsillitis twice in two months. This has shown me a pattern of things I seem to do when I am sick.

1. Moaning constantly, I have discovered that the more I moan the better I feel as all of the healthy people in my house MUST know just how sick I really am. Going alongside this I must say that I think I am dying at least once a day.

2. Drinking water, I cannot normally stand the taste of water but what I have discovered is that all I seem to do when sick is drink the stuff. Maybe this is because I cant do much else.

3. I'm not sure if this is a general thing and I really doubt it is but when I am sick I find myself watching a worrying amount of animal documentaries. I don't know why this seems to happen but nevertheless it does and im not complaining I mean what better than to learn about the mating habits of lions while sick.

4. sweat A LOT. Being under my duvet means that I am basically in a furnace that is slowly draining me of all of my fluids, however as soon as I remove it I find myself covered in goosebumps and the constant shivers. I am very much like Goldilocks and must have everything 'just right'.

5. Fear fresh air, with fresh air comes sunlight and very much like the fictional vampires the idea of sunlight when I am sick is one of terror. In my mind the safest place to be is locked up in my bed with a duvet and closed curtains. I realise that not everybody has the ability to stay in bed, you know responsibility and stuff but I do know that regardless of that they wish they could!

Divergent

Recently I found myself at the cinema watching this movie, I went into this experience having not read the books and really with only watching the trailer once. However the hype around this movie and the love of the books that so many people had expressed did intrigue me. I find that when you go into a movie with expectations that high that it never really does justice, however reminding you that I have not yet read the books this movie has me hooked. I fully intend to read them, one of the most interesting things about this story is that it was created by someone who was the same age as me when it was written. I know that even though I have a keen interest in story telling I would not be capable of achieving what Veronica Roth has.

At times I did find the movie rather predictable but overall it kept me engaged and interested, this nowadays with the amount of similar books such as The Hunger Games which I certainly could see a clear comparison with I still saw that the elements that the story brought were new and innovative. The constant love then dislike of characters such as Caleb Prior left me wondering what my opinion would be at the end of the movie. I do believe that this book/movie has been greatly successful due to the era it has been released in where teenage audiences seem to be dominant within the literature and cinematic industry.

This movie I would say certainly appeals to a certain age range and had I been older or younger I feel that it may not have interested me as much as it did. Unfortunately this means that this movie may not be for everyone, and I also wonder as it is such a big brand in the US whether it really is going to take off here in the UK. The opening day certainly did not consist of long ques and full screens, however I do hope that people become more aware of it and go see it because it really is a good watch.

Speaking of the acting, I haven't really seen any previous work of the main characters played by Shailene Woodley or Theo James, I do however believe that they sold the story to me and as a huge fan of The Fault in Our Stars I am looking forward to seeing how Shailene takes on the polar opposite of Tris in her role as Hazel. Although after watching Divergent I am certain she will not disappoint and I will be picking up the books for a read and hope to see the other books in the trilogy made as well as this one was.