I don't know about you, but i'm feeling 21

okay so I might be a year early for the Taylor Swift song, but today I am a internationally recognised adult...
It's somewhat strange to think that I am old enough to do everything, everywhere. I am not a birthday person, a whole day where people focus on me is not an attractive concept. I have however decided that I do like the idea that I have a whole year of extra wisdom. I don't feel 21 in fact I still feel 16 at heart.

I suppose thanking my mum is really what I should be doing today, I mean my part was easy she is the one who did the hard part. So I suppose thanks mum, for bringing me into the world 21 years ago today all I have done to deserve this celebration is last all these years.
So in true style I am going to drink and probably make a fool of myself because well, tomorrow im going to start being an adult...

Yeah right!

Why I chose to study English Lit and American Studies

I have been asked by family and friends many questions about my choice of course at university, mainly why American Studies if you want to work in publishing?
Here I am answering that question, choosing English literature was pretty normal to those who know me well, from a VERY young age I have always been fascinated by books and the idea of delving into a world somebody else has created.
I will be studying work from medieval time periods all the way to contemporary works, this nicely links in with the career I hope to have when I eventually finish! It gives me an all around view of literature through the ages. I have always been fascinated by work that pushes the boundaries of what was expected of those in their own time periods. Females that wrote about empowerment in times when they were expected to look pretty and cook for their husbands, when a male writes from the perspective of a female and visa versa.
But the question I get second to 'what is American studies?' is Why? This I think I can nicely sum up in a few short words.
I decided to take American Studies for the pure fact that it is an all around subject, there is politics, foreign policy, arts and culture and mostly history. Very much like I enjoy delving into the imaginations of others in books I find myself questioning the choices of others VERY frequently. With this subject I get to see the stark contrast of life in the UK and life in the US, not just from the perspective of those that run the country but those who make the country. The ordinary folks, those who chose to sit at the front of the bus, those who saw the pain inflicted on different races and never did anything about it. I want to know more about what makes America this idealistic place, Americans.

So it did not really end up being only a few short words, but then I never really was one to stop myself from talking and I don't think I ever will be.

Staying sain

There is a LOT going on, I have never been much of a list maker but recently all I seem to be doing is checking things off of numerous amounts of lists.
The thing that I never liked about lists is that I always seem to be adding things onto the end, therefore the list becomes never ending.
Normally moving to university would mean packing up all of the things that you want to take whatever you want with you, my family however decided that they wanted to move and this just so happened to fall the day before I move. So I find myself making lists of things to take to uni and things that need to go to the new house.
-------- Moved to uni --------

Okay so I am finishing this blog post while sat in my brand new room, I have awesome flat mates and really, even though its only been 2 days... I have really good feelings about being here and what the next 3 years are going to hold for me!
I know when I started this post I was not being the nicest about lists, however they must work as I did not forget a single thing.
Even though I do still find myself wanting to get a few bits to make it more like home and forgetting to get mayo for my tuna, I do feel like I am where I need to be.

I am finding myself scared of what is going to happen when the real work starts, but right now I am just making the most of the time that I have without any work to do and having the best experience before I am up to my eyeballs in English Lit and American Studies. 

The pitter patter of tiny feet

There are a lot of pregnancy announcements and tiny babies being born into my family at the moment. I can not say this is making me broody I am however a HUGE fan of cute babies that you give back at the end of the day!

This has however awoke something inside me that means I find myself spending lots and lots of time  in the baby clothes sections 'oooing' and 'awwing' at the tiny socks, shoes and oh... THE HEADBANDS.
Not being a 'baby' person for about 20 out of the almost 21 years I have been on this planet seems to have changed, and rather rapidly. About 6 months ago I found out that I was going to be an aunty, this caused a wave of emotion that really I wasn't expecting. I am very much like my mother and find it hard to show affection, however since my niece is due in just over a week I find myself excited to cuddle her and I think I am going to be that cool aunt who gives her sweets and sugar before she goes home :)

So it begins...

I recently, to the shock of myself and many people who know me found myself accepted into my first choice university. This obviously was something that I planned to be super stoked about, however it's now only 22 days until I move in and I have found myself already getting homesick... I haven't even left yet.

I am enjoying the obligatory shopping trips, new stationary (which is one of my favourite things...) pots and pans, yes I have bought pots and pans. But as the day draws closer my nerves and fear of leaving everything and everyone I know behind is becoming increasingly daunting.
I have always been very dependent on my mum, and regardless of her lack of comforting ways (she isn't a hugger) she is always there if I decide I need to latch onto her. Independence is scary whatever the reason for it may be, but in some ways I am excited to not only be in a COMPLETELY new place but with new people and studying something I am genuinely interested in.

So these blog posts may be a little scarce, not like they aren't already but im currently spending as much time with the people I wont be seeing before I have to lose Peter Pan syndrome, leave neverland and finally grow up.  

Soul mates?

I never really believed in the concept of a 'soul mate' the idea that someone out there is a perfect match for you. I still feel this way, however I do feel like I have found someone that could constitute the use of the term 'soul mate'. This person however isn't the love of my life, the person I am going to marry or even fall for. The soul mate that I was taught about when I was younger is not the one I found. I met someone who gets me, compliments my personality, debates with me, tells me im wrong and goes along with my stupid ideas because, well its fun being around each other. The label of our relationship is 'best friend' I thought that I had known what a best friend was until my 'best soul friend' walked into my life. When I personally think of a best friend I think of someone who has been around for years and years. However in the last year I have realised that time has no meaning because we can spend hours on the phone, watching movies and just generally having a giggle.

Birthday fun!! 

I see this girl in my life for the tough and exciting years in my future and I look forward to getting older and making more memories for us to reminisce about when we are grey and bitter. She is the one person I can tell everything to without fear of judgement and assurance of a warm shoulder to lean on. My soul mate wasn't what I expected but she sure is what I need.  

Trying to get things done

Procrastination- The action of delaying or postponing something.
This word seems to be the only thing in the dictionary in my brain, and the only one I seem to comprehend.
I am constantly battling the voice inside my head that tells me 'do it later' even this ironic blog post is preventing me from studying for my impending doom exams.
What seems to be hilarious about this situation is the excuses I use to justify this...

'Oh damn there aren't any cupcakes in the house... better bake some.' 
'I need to ensure that I am organised so if the zombie apocalypse happens tonight i'm prepared'
'I really must clean my room in case Rupert Grint decides he loves me and wants to come over' 
'Its okay I am going to be a famous singer anyway' 

All of these things however unlikely they may be.. I really can bake! Give me a reason to avoid the unavoidable. We go through life making excuses not to do things, things that may turn out to provide us with great memories, exciting stories or even just the grades to achieve great things.