The art of growing up

So I sent my youngest sister off to her first night out as a fully fledged adult. I know this seems sad but I spent my 18th drinking water and wondering what all the fuss was about. I do have to hand it to her she has grown up more than I ever thought possible recently. It seems that not only physiologically has she aged but mentally and more importantly she seems to have found something she loves and is finally being educated in it and we'll succeeding. Not many people including my cynical self thought that she would ever mature and achieve something and I'm  aware that is a horrid thing to say but she really was possibly one of the worst people for education. Me beings. School nut and loving the intake of knowledge meant I really didn't understand but now I think I do.

All I can say is that I know how much she hates me trying to mother her, but it is nothing but in my blood to ensure that she is safe, healthy and maybe now I realise most importantly HAPPY. A majority of the time I cannot stand her but I will always love her and want the best for her, seeing her grow up is terrifying but even though it may have been a little harder and certainly more troublesome than my transition to adulthood I could not be prouder of her.

Also the balloon's we used to keep her young were a reminder that even though she is eighteen now, she will always be childish when it comes to being goofy sisters, and well our mildly immature father. I wouldn't have them any other way, no really I wouldn't...

Lonely hearts what?

So I suppose its valentines day, and I mean I get the concept of it I just don't really partake in it. This is not due to the continuous single life I lead, and its not because im not a romantic (I enjoy a good love song) its just that I make a conscious effort to ALWAYS tell the special people in my life that I do love and appreciate them.
I do this with, cups of coffee, dinner after a long day at work, a simple hug or a few words of adoration. Not special valentines chocolate, flowers, teddy bears and cards. The things that show someone you love them are the things you don't need to think about.

So yes tell your loved ones how much you do love them, but remember that you should do that all the time, don't wait for a day to dictate that to you!

 

Is Twitter becoming a weapon?

I think that the idea of Twitter is actually brilliant, people getting to voice their opinions in 140 characters or less for the world to see instantly as you feel them. It is a great way to stay connected, however I think it is increasingly being used for the wrong things. Opinions arent being valued, and really it is hard to get your point across without being misconstrued in 140 characters, this has been more frequent recently. For example just as recently as this weekend Tyler Oakley a incredible person and advocate and part of the LBGT community felt the need to 'take a break' after voicing his opinions over a famous boy band members tweet. now whatever 'side' you may be on the response from fans was actually kind of disturbing, and reminded me that we live in a world where sending someone death threats is okay. This is to be honest a VERY extreme response to Tyler not agreeing with someone's opinion which to be honest was tweeted, again 140 characters is not enough to give anybody the right to judge someone especially to make threats on someones life, or insult them personally. Because honestly as much as we like to believe it, we do not know the people behind the keyboard, or in the movies, music videos or even on the YouTube channels.

Things I never got to say to you

I never got to tell you that everything you taught me made and is still making me a better person,

I never got to say that inside your hugs were my favorite place to be,

I never got the chance to tell you just how much I loved you,

I never got the chance to tell you that even though you have been gone for 7 years I still make sure I live in a way that would make you proud,

I never got to say Merry Christmas enough,

I never got to say happy 56th birthday nanny,

Ill never get to tell you that I miss the sound of your voice, every single waking moment. 

New years resolutions

New year, New me. Every single year without fail these words come out of most people's mouths and each year I believe that releasing these ideas into the universe means I have to achieve them. Still it seems that every year I succumb to the tradition of well... failing. This year I decided that if I happen to want to become healthier, focus on school or quit some bad habits I will do because it is time to and that I feel comfortable enough to try.
New years resolutions are meant improve the person you already are, which to me seems like something that you should strive to constantly do. The last number rising by one, is this really a valid reason to FINALLY decide to change something?
So not because the 13 is now a 14 but because I believe that I personally am ready to make these changes, I decided to set myself goals, not only to complete this year but hope to keep improving on for the rest of my life.

I've also decided that my 'new years resolutions' are going to be mainly about the enrichment of others, be kinder, help my mother out more, spend more time with my family, remind them I love them, become healthier because I want to be around to see my sister and brother get married and have children.
The world is also full of darkness and if smiling at strangers, holding doors open or using my manners give someone a reason to smile, I have helped to add a little bit of light into so much darkness then I have succeeded in 2014.

My Top 5, 2013 everything.

5. The Fault In Our Stars. 

This book completely took me by surprise, I mean I knew the brief synopsis before I read it. I also knew about the Green brothers from their Youtube channel. However what I did not expect was to be so moved by the words of somebody else. This book actually solidified my belief that working in the area of literature was my path!

Anyway I wrote a whole post about this... find it here!

4. Equality/ Same Love

DOMA and the equal rights movement spreading and acceptance now being shown by law changes were felt universally. The atmosphere this year that has been to do with equal rights has been mostly positive. Even though there are certain places where terrible things have been happening to stunt the progression of this important movement, the darkness has been matched equally by light. Some of this light was provided by one of the most important and my favourite songs this year! Macklemore being brave enough to talk about a topic which normally in his genre isn't highlighted is not only brave but inspiring and I really hope this songs and the publicity it is getting helps people be more open and accepting... WORLDWIDE. 

3. Applying for university/the whole process

I will be the first person to admit that this process as im sure is applicable to everyone going through it was, tough, nerve wracking and almost the death of me. However saying this, it is one of the biggest things this year which has brought joy and the feeling of being proud of myself through and through. Not just for getting through the process alive and sane but because at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel there was a light. Getting into all of my choices was something this time last year and well even previous to that I thought not impossible but implausible. So YAY! GO ME!

2. Ariana Grande

Of course I knew about Ariana from Victorious... However when she released her debut album everything changed for me! I viewed her as a musician and by god is she talented. There is no song on this album I did not fall completely, wholeheartedly in love with. However if I had to name a few I would recommend listening to 'Piano' for a song to dance around your bedroom too! 'Almost is never enough' A stunning, romantic duet with my fellow Brit Nathan Sykes, both of the vocals on this are so beautiful and from Nathan a true representation of just what he is capable of. Ariana's vocal range is extraordinary, and even though there have been repeated comparisons to Mariah Carey, I think she has her own style and being someone who never really got the whole Carey thing. I do get Ariana, I think her music is able to strike a chord with all ages and genders. She has broken the barriers of niches and created a whole load of awesome melodic beauty to grace our ears with. If you haven't heard of her... Where have you been? Also don't worry too much because I can assure you 2014 is going to be MASSIVE for her. 

1. My Family!

Family and friends are the most important 'everything'. This year as many before and im sure many to come have been full of ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups but one thing for certain is that with every year my love for them gets that little bit stronger. I am taught so many things by the people I hold dearest to me, whether that be new friends that have arrived this year or ones that have been here for all of my 20 years on this planet. Whether it be having a shouting match with my mother, cuddles with my sister, hanging out with my brother, laughing with my father or enjoying my youth with my friends there is nothing I could ever value more than the faith, support and happiness that they give me. "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life." - Richard Bach

Left or Right?

Seems simple... so why is it that the option could possibly change who you are as a whole person.
The small choices in life that we don't think about are the ones that are most important, a choice such as turning left could mean that whatever is to the right is lost forever. The things that turning right would have been a foundation for are never going to happen, you will never know what would have been ahead of you.

Small choices however are something I have recently begun to realise I MUST NOT waste my time regretting. If at that point in my life I chose left there was a reason for it, if that happened to be the wrong direction there is no point in wasting time thinking about it because the honest truth of the matter is, I really truly will never know if it was the worst choice or whether turning right would have lead to worse things than turning left.

My point is that for me there is no time in pondering on what could have been because nobody really knows and if you spend your days looking back, you might not see the next choice ahead.